November 2016                                                                                                                                                        Found a note  book which had been misplaced and lost a couple months . Other note books and scraps of discarded paper filled this gap . The turning up of this notebook was not much of a surprise.... One day of last week after working a night shift  I returned home as usual . While making my way to a bedside table to quench a thirst of water , my eyes fell on a blue cover of  the  note book  I thought to have been lost . Acceptance of turn about  came easy even after hours of work on  a day of  November Elections  .  I knew the blue note book would eventually turn up . Resolve  caught hold  . Thus a battle would continue . I vowed to not let fear determine my actions and feelings .                                                                                                           Speaking of fear which is a common denominator through out mankind . Fear has not always served me well  in making life altering decisions .  On a few occasions where life and death decisions had to be made , I  did  not get in that white Cadillac when a ride had been offered  from a strange man   " Wanna ride ? "  .  To yell at the cab driver as to why he drove the cab in which I rode into a dark ally way between brick buildings ? These incidences were long age but still haunt me . Incidentally as of late having to refute unwanted sexual advances and innuendos in the work - place . I enjoy working in a grocery store as a night manager . Mixing with customers and getting to know them is surprisingly important to me . When a male customer sexually crosses the line my first response is disbelieve , shock and the old familiar fear ! There is a big difference between day light  and evening light and people and their actions differ greatly as well .  To me the daytime lulls people into thinking there is time to work things out  . Night time a sense of urgency can feel more acute and hope for a happy resolve can be fleeting . Most nights in the grocery store end uneventful . At the appointed hour setting the security alarm and lock the stores front door I feel a sense of having averted disaster .                                                                                                                                                      Most nights after work I will jog home three quarters a mile. The jog usually takes 10 minutes and is my cardio work out  . Some nights my thoughts resolve in gratitude . Dear lord thank you for for this gift of life . Thank you for my family . Than you for giving me a loving life partner for 36 years  the partner that has now become my husband  . Thank you for making me an artist . Thank you for relieving me the burden of making my living solely on the sales of my art work . Thank you for providing me with so many opportunities to make a living . Thank you for the roof over my head . Thank you for my home out of foreclosure with a reinstated loan  . Thank you for allowing me to be born in The United States of America   . About this time I run out of thank yous and out of breath . Lucky for me I am at the front steps of my home . As usual when entering the house  the aroma of hot food  greets  me form the meal my husband has prepared for me . One more time Thank you Lord for all the food we eat , and Thank you again for him !!!!!