Alas I have found you ! On waking this morning your memory was running film like through my mind in Fellini like story boards of montages . The brown paper box the size of a thick book arrived in the mail was address to you . So busy I have been chasing rainbows on water slides connecting decades of my life. The ringing bells which awoke me this morning were memories of you , father . On the night before you died mom called me on the phone in a panic . Mom could not help you get into your bed . For 20 minutes you sat on the edge of your bed frightened , unable to move . Your entire body had stiffened . Your legs had become like anchors to earths surface . Clearly your state of mind had undergone significant turmoil . You steadfastly were refusing moms assistance and you would not help yourself . A stalemate had been reached . Your house was falling like the House of Usher . Mom was frustrated and at her wits end . I listened to moms bewilderment . I listened to her anger. I listened to her complaints . Mom told me she did not know how much longer she could go on . " I am coming over to help " I said . There was silence in the conversation . Composure had taken hold of mom . " No do not come over . I will be all right ." In motherly tones she assured me she would manage . Mom told that she only needed to vent the cares away of a caregiver . The illness that had seized hold over your life had gradually tightened like vice clamp tightening for 10 years . Now no longer the man nor husband . The marriage had become caregiver and the cantankerous patient . Mom thanked me for listening . I allowed myself the luxury of believing her assurances . I told mom that I loved her and she told me that she loved me and we said goodnight . The next morning the ringing bells which awoke me were from the phone . My sister was calling to tell me that you , dad , had died . Dad for nearly 10 years since your death I have continued jumping ropes and dancing with rainbows . I have continued a one-sided relationship with you in my dreams . I remember you bending my little boy body over your knee. Your big hand coming down in one blow on my bottom. I wet myself in reaction to that hit and i wet your knee too . Memories of long ago play out in black and white pictures that need only Alfred Hitchcock to walk by and look backward with me . Existing in the bare bones many memories are contained wrapped in plain brown paper boxes neatly stacked in the card catalogues of remembrance . The day was sunny on the cusp of spring leading up to a summer warmness and summer recess form school . A country custom of taking a floral bouquet to the grade school teacher on the last day of school before summer vacation William had fulfilled . The third grade school teacher , Miss Granatta had gratefully accepted the flowers and placed the bouquet in a mason jar filled with water upon her desk . Miss Granatta had been a kind teacher to William although something of an enigma to him . Much to Williams wonder Miss Granatta wore her hair teased high upon her head , a sort of football helmet style , William deduced . Her clothing was in the current styles of dresses affordably purchased . Mostly boat collard neck or scoop cut necks . Polyester was all the no wrinkle rage . Sporting gold colored chain belts and necklaces upon which hung a single pendent . From time to time young William's attention would be drawn to Miss Granattas bare neck . Although she was by all means a young women Miss Granatta"s neck had creases between the plump olive colored skin upon which were visible several brown colored small moles . Miss Granatta for ever the sensible young lady never wore stiletto heels . Miss Granatta wore only half heels of the wedge style of patent leather from the most sensible stores . Throughout the rest of this last school day before summer vacation William would zone out as his eyes rested upon the pink colored peonies of the bouquet in the water filled mason jar reflecting light from the nearby windows and refracting light into rainbows at the same time reaching young William's hungry eyes . William felt great pride as he gazed upon those luscious peony pink petals , their ruffled edges whose gentle scent of sweet rain drops wafting on warm spring air currents were ushering in the early summer . At this last day of Williams third year of school Miss Granatta would ask William to stay after school to help with the yearly closing of the class room . There were many text books to place back unto the bookshelves . There were yards of brown paper to place across the book case fronts to keep the dust out . All the window shades had to be pulled full down to combat the suns uv rays which at that that time were still thought to good for children to play in . When Miss Granatta and William had accomplished these simple chores she walked over to her wooden desk at the front of the classroom while thanking William for helping her . William listened to the clapping sounds her half heal shoes made while they struck the floor on the way . Miss Granatta than opened a lower desk drawer and pulled out a two handled strap patent leather purse . It was the style hand bag which Queen Elizabeth always carried . By the by what do queens carry in their hand bags? Ok never mind that . Miss Granatta then opened the hand bag and withdrew one quarter , two dimes and one nickel . As William out stretched his hand to accept the coins he profusely thanked Miss Granatta . All that was left were good byes and wishes for a good summer . Williams exalted state of mind carried him ten feet off the floor . Through out the darkened long corridor hallways as he walked to the only light available , the out side light of the sun . The school was of the old type built many many years before Williams time there . The school was built of old coal stained red bricks and stood three stories tall over most of the two story neighboring two family homes . William's father too had attended this factory assembly line sized structure for turning out students with a public education of the grades pre k through the sixth grade . Outside the sun was in the middle of a cloudless blue sky listing forever to the West . The angle of the powerful sun rays cast shadows to the East . William walked alone upon the old cracked gray slate sidewalks . All the other students had already been long gone . The neighborhood was made up of two family structures two stories high . Side by side in rows like tiered old soldiers in a battle of poverty. Block after block like a river of madness ran these old structures of wooden bones covered in tar paper singles and leaking roofs . Yes the old neighborhood was in a constant state of transition from bad to worse and good verses evil . Some occupants felt the old cemetery long ago moved to reuse the land and reclaim it for poor immigrants to have been a much better use than that which replaced it . For sure some soles never left their burial sites and merely haunted the basements and attics of the homes of many . In some of the old houses elderly people resided , retired hard working blue collars , railroad lineman , retail store clerks , domestics , servants and young families like Williams . Not all were honest nor law abiding . Good and bad and gray areas made this hodge-podge of a quilted neighborhood . A quilt emerging unlike that of which grandma would have created by hand using careful measured beautiful stitches using just the right length needle on beautiful cut scraps of fabric . As William walked along he always studied the postage stamp sized patches of lawn and yards . Some had given in and given up to black topping to their front doors giving away any semblance to a city size front yard . Others still maintained a standard of edged green grass and trimmed floral gardens the likes of which dreams are made . Oh how much the young can learn by being aware of their environments and taking in all as sponges of the seas . Upon arriving home William found the house deserted with his brother and sisters already onto their after school activities and his parents still away at work . With his stomach feeling the pangs of hunger William went directly to the refrigerator his parents still called the ice box. A slice of family white bread which sold 4 loaves to the dollar , butter and chop left over from last nights supper . William himself was ready for his after school activity which was to watch the last of the days soap operas on television . The houses floor plan was economical and simple . 35 feet wide by 45 feet long set up with one room joining directly to another front to back with out hallway . A straight walk from kitchen through dinning room into the family living room . The dominating fixture of the lining room was the black and white picture television set given to his parents as a wedding gift from their parents . The television sat upon a veneered hollow wood box made to look like a cabinet with 2 front doors which did not open . This same television top heavy with picture tubes , would one day topple over falling nearly upon the families youngest child . William turned on the television and picked one of the then 3 channels that domineered the air waves. Today William caught the tail end of General Hospital. William allowed himself to believe that head nurse Jessie Brewer and the doctor to be real characters living out their lives in black and white . Williams most favorite soap opera was Dark Shadows . Today as the organ music of the soap opera played out against ocean crashing waves upon stone boulders William took notice of a small size box upon the end table next to his fathers favorite chair . At once William walked over to the end table and picked up the box to read the name of his father over his homes address . William thought the box must have been delivered in todays mail and had been brought in by one of his 2 older sisters . With his interest fully engaged and peeked William studied the return address . Readers Digest , his fathers favorite monthly periodical . Only this plain brown box was of a different size than the regular monthly . In side of him self a struggle of right and wrong began intensely going on . Williams intense need to know the boxes contents would be assuaged by the thought of his fathers retribution . William placed the brown box back down on the table and resolved his father may tell him or show him what was in this box or later or William may just have to find out for himself . William sat down on the floor directly in front of the television . For now Jessie Brewers problems and Barnabas Collins victims and disciples would preoccupy his imagination . The late afternoon sun poured directly through the windows behind the television . The hot sun light lit up the patterns of orange and yellow roses printed upon the fiber glass draperies . The sheer curtains hung behind the over drapery were glowing white with dark gray lines horizontally , shadows created by the metal venetian blinds from behind . Today during the soap opera commercial breaks William looked around his family's living room . The differences between the Elizabethan rooms of Collinwood and the rooms of his family's home were painfully obvious to his sensibilities . A type of hopeful longing took hold of his desires . The room's little wall spaces were covered in lacy patterned wall paper left over from the homes past owners . The floor was covered in wall to wall carpeting of olive green whose hook nap had become so flat with wear . The carpeting always had a peculiar order . That aroma odor of past lodgers dirty foot tread of leather mud smears could strangle one if one let it . Ghosts from prior owners whose bones or talons hold on to the living ones days . From the cracks of wooden floors and old felt carpet padding emerged apparitions so delft as to strangle life of the living . Today Barnabas would bite Willy Lumas' neck . Poor Willy was forever doomed like William to be one of Barnabas' disciples and manservant . As the soap operas closing credits rolled across the small television screen the shows theme music played out through the televisions single mono speaker . Shivers ran down the back of William and his body shook a little convulsively . The living room grew darker as the shadow from the house next door cast upon Williams' home placed it in premature darkness . William turned the television off . The living room was quiet . William realized he was alone save his eldest sister who was in the bedroom she shared with her two other sisters with the door securely closed . These alone times for William were increasing . Strange that out of a family of seven that anyone would or could choose to be alone . Not strange for William ! For William being alone was natural . His imagination kept him busy for hours on end . William had discovered his love of creating art work . For three years now all of his grade school teachers have been praising his talent in art work . William had the desire too for floral gardening and could spend hours fussing about creating flower gardens . Another passion William was developing was creating and building doll houses and decorating them for his youngest sister . William had found a near by carpeting tile and decorating store and would rummage through their garbage for out dated wall paper books , old carpeting and tile samples . From top to bottom William created a house for Barbie and handsome Ken . All furniture was custom made by William . William was pleased at the amount of time his younger sister and her girlfriends would play at the doll house he created in the basement of their home . William's family consisted of a father who worked two jobs , a working mother and house keeper , two older sisters , William , one younger brother and one younger sister . William's mother would describe the first four of her five children her Irish twins and were all born one year apart . The fourth child was born four years later . William knew there was time to kill before his mother and father would return home from work . So William took this time to make a few changes in the living rooms furniture placement . William looked about the twelve by twelve room . One double doorway leading to the dinning room in the middle of one . William thought there was nothing to do here . The entire wall was designated to the double doorway . To the left of this doorway a channel backed chair was placed kitty corner . This chair was covered in maroon mohair. No one sat in this chair that did not face the television . The next wall over had two windows dominating it . From these windows one could see the neighbors house ten feet away . Between these windows the television was placed for close proximity to the antenna wire connecting the television set to the antenna placed out side on top of the house . Next to this wall was the wall that had three doorways . One of these door ways lead to the front porch which William had once heard his mother describe as a Victorian verandah wrap around . William liked very much thinking of his family's front porch as a Victorian verandah wrap around . Next to this front door was three feet of wall in front of which stood his fathers favorite chair and a small end table . This chair was covered in blue mohair . Next to this was the other front door . Then came the door way to his sisters bedroom . Directly next to this doorway came the only wall large enough to place a sofa . The right arm of the sofa practically touched his sisters bedroom door . The left arm of the sofa came directly up to but not touching the door way to Williams and his brother shared bedroom . The sofa was covered with a throw style slipcover printed with yellow and orange roses like the fiberglass over draperies . With all these considerations taken into account William seized hold of the ottoman given to them by a grandmother and placed it next to the left side of the television . William then grabbed two of the sofas end throw pillows and placed them upon the ottoman resting against the television for support of a back . What William was reaching for was to create a type of foyer into which had been placed a small settee from representing and far reaching the foyer and settee from Collinwood . William felt a little better after deciding he liked this picture . William thought ,oh , if only Joan Bennet who played the Matriarch Elizebeth Stoddard of Dark Shadows could only walk through the front door and feel the desired effect of the just created foyer and to summon the entire household to gather and take note of Williams latest creation ! As William looked at this addition he remembered once asking his mother where she had brought the family living room furniture . His mother replied '' Oh from from second hand furniture stores " . 'Did it look better back then '. William asked . "Oh not much better " , she replied . William deduced no matter how hard he worked or tried the family living room would always be this way with the same furniture plan . His attention was again seized by the brown box . With his index finger he raised the boxes cellophane window behind which his fathers name and address appeared to perhaps get a glimpse of what was in the box . No luck to be had by this attempt . Having grown tired of this William walked out the front door across the verandah to the houses side yard . William stopped at garden and began fussing about pulling some weeds and assessing what flowers still had more blooming time . Checking on the zinnias seedlings he had just transplanted they were coming along fine . What flowers would soon be blooming ? Yes thought William , the hollyhocks would be next to bloom . There were still same yellow and purple bearded iris' in bloom and oh yes the peony's too had plenty blooms . The climbing roses growing next to the wire fence were fully loaded with small pink roses and buds . These small pink roses always reminded William of old fashioned fabric squares sewn together to make quilts . He wandered over to the rose of sharon hedge he just finished planting . He was satisfied with the hedges progress and was assured of the future of blooms to come . Williams turned back to the house . His thoughts began to wonder . William looked up the houses wall towards the roof . William studied the window placement . The wall was full of 36 inch wide by 64 inch long windows side by side along the first floor as well as the second floor . Small windows in front of small square rooms . William deduced this house left nothing to the imagination . He found himself again longing and thinking oh if only , if only this house could be more like Collinwood ! Gothic mystery , period clothing , vampires or a werewolf or two ! William thought of his family and here too his mind longed if only they had the heritage of the Collins ! William's father was a meat cutter not the head of a Main located shipping company . Williams mother worked at a state run mental hospital in the laboratory . She would be on call one weekend out of the month and would take William to work with her . It was here at the state hospitals laboratory William's imagination would work overtime too . The State run mental hospital was an old gothic building which started out being a retreat for the wealthy from New York city many years ago . William too loved his siblings . His brother and sisters would spend many hours away playing house . William's part in the game was to play a little girl called Whimily . William was sure of his place in the family and felt safe . He studied the green tar paper shingles covering the entire house . So many of the shingles had powdery white streak stains from years of rain water running off the houses' window framing . Some of the shingles had broken edges . William concluded perhaps when the singles were new they may have looked pleasing to the eye . Above the sun had continued its silent spinning dance through the sky . The west side of the house glowed brightly . The concrete driveway reflected the yellow white heat back into the air . The shadow from the neighboring house had grown to enveloped the entire side yard in a premature day light to dusk as if the early heavens and stars were soon follow . William gazed passed the houses steep roof edge . Above the sky was still clear bright blue . William stood there his thoughts of revery were his flights of fancy . Who's house this was William clearly did not know . Though it had been built so long long ago . For now William knew this house to be that in which his family lived . William than began picking some flowers in which he would place in a vase upon the living room's television console top as the finishing touch for his newly created foyer . The sound of his mothers automobile 's engine awoke his fancy flights of daydreams . All at once he broke into a run to get back into the house . William found the desired vase and put water and the floral bouquet he already held in the arrangement he wanted . Quickly back to the living room he ran to place the arrangement by the little settee . The door to his parents bedroom opened . His mother appeared . Her white uniform had been changed . She was in her at home clothing . Much to Williams disappointment , his mother did not comment on the newly created foyer or vase of flowers. "High mom " William cheerily greeted his mother . William recognized the usual tiredness displayed at the end her days work upon arriving home . Through her tiredness she mustered up a mothers strength to return as cheerily a greeting back to him " Hello there William ! Where is everybody ? " First and foremost upon arriving home William's mother was relieved to have seen the house still standing and directly onto " Where are the children ? " William relayed to his mother to the best of his knowledge the where abouts of his siblings . "Well they better be home by the time your father gets home William ! " I must go lay down for twenty minutes and then come out and make supper . I will talk to you when I come back out " " Ok mom " William replied . William proceeded to the bedroom he shared with his brother . Any one could see clearly that two very different boys shared this room . There was the clean orderly side and there was the other much lived in side . William took pride at neatly tidying his side of the bedroom . The bedroom was small with two twin beds pushed apart separated by a window . William walked over to the shelves where he kept his prided collection of ceramic and porcelain figurines . There was the real white rabbit fir covered ceramic dog in the likeness of a French poodle that William got his father to buy for him from Sears Department Store . There were the collection of lady head vases purchased second hand from The Volunteers of America . These lady head vases were a source of great pride to William . Each lady head had a hole in the top of her head in witch to put a small bouquet of flowers . Each lady held her head at an angle of refined distinction . Each ceramic lady had closed eyes with long painted black lashes . Brightly painted red lips contrasted so well their refined lady like skin . Each lady head vase had painted pearl earrings and matching necklaces . The figurines made of ocean shells and the glass nick-nacks came from The Trade Winds Gift Gallery . Some of the collection came from Canada where his family vacationed every year , the last two weeks of august . William saved his weekly allowance his mother paid him for helping with house hold chores just to add to his collection . The sound of pots and pans clanging around could be heard from the kitchen . William's excitement began to grow for these sounds of domesticity could only mean that his mother was preparing the family's evening meal . Every night of the week his mother had the meal ready to be served soon after his father returned home after work . The sound of trains screeching brakes on the railroad tracks at the end of the street permeated through the neighborhood . The days trains were beginning to return to the station . The aroma of cooking food started filling the houses air . William walked out to the kitchen . He sat down at a table pushed up to the corner walls a sorta make shift table height counter, so that only two sides of the table could be sat at . Even with this space saving effort one of the available chairs would be in the way of traffic flow to the dinning room when anyone ever sat in it . William chose this chair turned it side ways to totally face his mother as she stood at the stove cooking the family's evening meal . His mother was stirring a large aluminum pot . William could tell that it was a pot of tomato sauce . Meat balls were in a cast iron fry pay on a nearby gas burner . His mother had another large aluminum pot of steaming hot water . William loved his mothers spaghetti and meat balls ." Is that for tonight Mom ? " William asked . " Yes " she responded . " Do you know what is in that brown paper box by dad's chair ? " William asked . " No dear . You will have to ask your father when he gets home " said his mother . William sat there in silence. He had often watched her preparing meals . She continued turning the browning meat balls . The sounds of sizzling meat sugars caramelizing escaped into the kitchens air . From time to time she would talk to him about her methods of cooking . On weekends his mother would prepare meals ahead of time to save time during the week . There were family favorites she could cook with her eyes half closed if necessary . Pot roasts in dutch ovens , meat loafs in large cake pans . Some times she had the entire week already cooked ahead of time so that all that were necessary was to heat them up . It was not long before William knew how to help cook before his sisters ever did . From braising meats and preparing roux for sauces and even pie crusts William was receiving an over all good beginning of finding his way around the kitchen . William continued watching his mother cooking . Her silhouette stood out against the screen door that the stove practically stood in front of . The angle of the sun was reflecting off the garage windows back towards the house . His mothers figure was practically out lined in halo light . The suns great yellow white shape was beginning to settle behind the hills which surrounded the valley city . At once the back screen door began opening and closing . As Williams siblings were returning home one practically after another . William's mother began to give them all direction . So and so "wash your hands and set the table . To another go run the vacuum in the living room . The bath room needs cleaning and it is your turn to that one " William too was told to wash his hands and help set the table . All were moving about like robots knowing well the expected routine of all contributing to keep the household running smoothly . William heard the engine sound of his fathers automobile pulling in the driveway . William listened intently as his father closed the garage doors . He next heard the sound of his foot steps crossing the driveway . There was ensuing excitement of greetings . William's father was told that dinner was practically ready and his evening paper had been placed by his chair on the end table . William allowed his father to settle down for what seemed like to William an hour . William then too proceeded to the living room . His father sat holding the paper all the while listening to the evening news from the television . William waited at least for a commercial to come on the television set interrupting the news . The time was now right . William asked , "Dad what's in the brown paper box ? " AS William asked this he noticed that the box was no longer visible on the end table top . Shock struck William . Oh no he thought ! "What box ? " Asked Williams father . " The box that was on your table " William responded . William 's father was a born kidder . He was always helping his children sharpen their wits by verbally challenging them to expand their knowledge and verbal skills to his level . " I will show you what is in the box after dinner " William's father replied . William's mother had smoothly transitioned from preparation of dinner to the table of piping hot food to be served family style . There was toss salad , Italian bread and butter , spaghetti and tomato sauce and piping hot meat balls covered with tomato sauce , and parmesan cheese . William' s mother called all to the supper table ! The dinner scene rapidly unfolded . Father sat at the head of the table with Williams mother to his left . To mothers left sat William's younger brother . At the other head of the table sat the eldest William's sister . Next to the eldest sat another sister to her left sat the youngest a sister named Margaret . Directly to fathers right sat William . During dinner Williams father would direct any conversation this evening . He would not tolerate talking out of turn . William kept getting hushed this evening by a gentle touch of his fathers hand on his arm followed by a verbal reminder to wait ones turn . So complete was Williams frustration his will rescinded and resignedly he gobbled all food before him that was on his plate and washed it down with a tall glass of milk . Meanwhile William's father would ask questions of all. Some answers were more elaborate than others . No one ever talked with their mouths full . William's father would sip a glass of beer . Williams mother mostly drank water . Elbows on the table would be corrected . Tick tock , tick tock , times pendulum never stops . We sense the now as it could be forever . Lulled into complacency the time being is changing before our non-seeing eyes . Dinners are always over all to soon especially when the cook has fulfilled her job to prepare a tasty meal whose best ingredient is parental love served with any means possible from contents of ones cupboard be they what they may . No special shopping trips . Go to your cupboard to find what you have and give it freely . What ever is placed on the shelves of your cupboard must be brought back out . It all ends up with serving the best you have and giving all till you drop in a quiet life shuddering quiver and you cease to take a breath and your ever loving heart stops pumping like yours did dad . There was no fanfare at this end . Williams mother governed like an executrix . All were given assignment to help clean up the dishes , the table , the garbage and the never endings of so-forths or so William thought ! William's father had meekly retired to his favorite chair , quietly without any one noticing . It was miraculous how fast every thing could be cleaned up and put back together again till the next meal ! All thought it would be time to watch television as was the usual for Williams family . Not so ! Tonight Williams father pulled out from underneath the end table by his favorite chair the Brown paper box with the end ripped open . William would always take for granted that very big hand which sewed together a mend on the dress of Williams favorite teddy bear , Cracky . William's father deftly placed his big hand at the open end of the brown paper box to pull out a book ! Williams father read the books title ; "Fairy Tales of Hans Christian Anderson " , illustrated . Tonight the living rooms lights had to be turned on . Williams father would read to his children gathered around him . All was relaxed . All todays work had been done . Now was the time to be together and relaxidaly live . Williams father was a natural reader and entertainer . His voice had inflection and could take on any character in a mimicry role of the character he was reading and re-read for many summer nights to come . Outside the family house the sun was completely vanished welcoming an early summer evening sky of red to blue kissing purple darkness of night fall . Day light had resigned to night times hammock to swing in times pendulum , back forth , back forth , ever more back forth . The rolling hills to the West cast shadows across the parlor city to it's central railroad tracks . Steam escaping from train breaks and train whistles could be heard compressed through the valley . William had gone to bed next to an open window . At once William heard a robin singing through the opened bedroom window into the nights ever loving darkness when all things could be possible . Oh yes there could be room for improvement here on Emmit Street , thought William . Perhaps tomorrow some detail will change . Who knows perhaps Jonathan Frid will rise again as a poignant savior for all of tomorrows children who rush home everyday to tune their i-phones and tablets for more Dark Shadows of purple clouds to caress their imaginations . Yes Elizabethan gothic will always produce fertile fruit for the imagination of little boys who live as little girls . Creation is as a God dose . Going forth bravely through many train whistled nights and screeching train breaks while robins sing a last song of a day . Rivers will flow through their landscapes changing all as a flood plays topsy turvy games through their tomorrows . Ok Dad I have confessed . You and I need have no secrets . Hell man , we played and play in each others dreams ! Some times I take on the role of the butcher cutting away and serving up the meats of life . At times you took on the role of the artist and care giver . Dad we are different and yet so twin like . Dad you read stories to your children that entertained them . Your children will always be grateful for the many gifts of your time freely given to them . The heels of my leather shoes sink into the soft spring thawing soil as I made my way to your grave site in Port Crane . My socks feel wet as I stand with your wife , my mother , my husband and sisters and brother . A father of the faith is there presiding in black attire . I hear not the words he speaks . The near by trees of ever green speak to me that they will become the green plant life in the front of any yard of the home in which I and my husband live . We will forever be with you two no matter where you two reside . The greenery of their ever green will contrast and balance our love for years to come . The song of a bird becomes louder and more important than any words that the man in black attire is saying . I focussed on the bird song and the evergreens . Remember dad , how you told me to focus on small details to get through painful events like having my finger pricked to have blood drawn . This day cold and wet the evergreens and singing bird helped me to get through . Some of the old ghosts from Emmet Street have followed me no matter where I live . Lucky for me dad, you to follow me about in my dreams . Only now I am your protector .